The Hope for Her Ending
by coffeeberry
Summary: Luke and Lorelai had their beginning, but their middle ended before it had barely begun. JJ eventually!
1. Faking a Smile With a Coffee To Go

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. :o(

**A/N**: To everyone reading this, disgruntled and non-disgruntled fans alike, this is a JavaJunkie, trust me. It's just not a JJ _yet_. And to everyone who has ever reviewed on anything I've posted here, thank you. It makes me want to write more to make you guys happy. And mucho thanks to Mark, my ever faithful, ever patient beta. I won't forget to feed you or to clean the tank.

**You're Faking a Smile with a Coffee to Go**

Lorelai sighed as she slipped on her heels. Glancing at the clock, she grimaced when she saw that she had a staff meeting in 15 minutes. After calling Sookie and asking her to start the meeting without her and that she'd be there as soon as she could, she stood up, smoothed an imaginary wrinkle out of her skirt and did what seemed to be the hardest thing for her to do lately: start her day.

She met Sookie for breakfast at Weston's every morning. She had told her that the reason was to go over inn stuff for the day, but she knew and Sookie knew, that if someone was waiting for her, she would have some sort of motivation to get out of bed.

Ever the queen of multi-tasking, she dialed her cell as she poured her coffee into a travel mug, and walked out the door.

"Rory, Mini-me! I just figured that since I had to be up at this ungodly hour, I shouldn't be the only one. Love you babe, call me call me!" She closed her phone, got into her car and drove to the inn, the only place that provided her with enough distraction to get through the day.

----------------------------

Lorelai hesitated before entering the diner. Yes, it had been over a year since her and Luke broke up, but occasionally she still got the feeling that something just wasn't right with Luke.

Luke looked up as the bell jingled, and looked her in the eyes. It was still hard for him to look at her sometimes. Look at the person he knew so intimately, more intimately than any man before him. She had let her guard down for him. And he had proved her wrong. Pouring her a cup of coffee, she mumbled a quick 'thank you' and pulled a notepad out of her bag and started going over everything that she hadn't done today that needed to be put on tomorrow's list of things she hadn't done. Walking into the kitchen, he started an order of chocolate chip pancakes for her while he studied her. She was still beautiful; it was hard for her not to be. But things had changed. Her eyes looked sad. Not 'my boyfriend just broke up with me' sad, but resigned. There were dark circles under her eyes; her skin wasn't fair anymore it was pale. Her clothes fit a little looser. Seeing that the pancakes were done, he took them off the stove and served her.

Hearing the bell again, he looked up and saw a tourist group enter. He didn't get a break until 20 minutes later, and when he did, he saw that she was gone and there was a $20 on the counter. And had left a half-finished plate of chocolate chip pancakes on the counter. Worried, he walked over to where she had been sitting and glanced into the coffee cup. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw that it was all gone. She might have looked tired and worn-down, but she was still Lorelai Gilmore. He hoped that he was right and he hoped that it would stay that way.

----------------------------

Lorelai pushed open the front door to face an empty house once again. She knew Chris would be over later that day, which brought a smile to her face. She wouldn't have to sit at home by herself watching the Sofia death scene over and over again. Not that watching the Godfather III with Chinese food and a few pints of Ben & Jerry's was a bad thing, but it was more fun with other people around. Settling down on the couch, she heard the first few notes of her ringtone. After listening for a few seconds, she got up to find it as the tune stopped. She spotted her bag by the front door and opening the phone she saw that it was Chris who called. Putting a smile on, she dialed the familiar number.

"Hey Lore, I just tried to call you!

"Yeah, I got distracted by the pretty pretty music and didn't get to it on time." She said with a grin.

"Well don't you sound happy?" Chris asked, sounding amused. He was surprised at her tone, although he would never let her know it. It had been a while since she had sounded that happy and it sounded like her propensity towards banter was returning.

"Well why shouldn't I be happy? I'm only on the phone with the world's greatest date planner. You know, these big, over-the-top, Lorelai Gilmore is my whole world, life, and reason-for-being dates are awesome, but-"

"But what Lore?" he said laughing.

"Eh I've got nothing. Keep doing what you're doing." Chris could hear her smirk over the phone.

"Thought so," he said smugly. "Anyway, what I was going to suggest, is that we keep it low key tonight, just a movie night. I'll bring the movies, you get the food. Chinese, Thai, clams from Al's Pancake world-"

"Bite your tongue that was a one time thing! And besides, I didn't even eat those."

"Ok, then maybe not Al's, but food, lots and lots of food.

"We could get Balinese. Paul Anka isn't scared of Balinese anymore. Or we could get tacos! Mexican sounds good. We'll get tacos, Chinese, and pizza. I'll get the candy."

"Meanwhile back at the ranch..."

"So I'll see you at 8?"

"Bye Lorelai." Lorelai shut her phone with a smile. It felt good. She was on her way back to being happy. Maybe that was the trick: to just keep going, one foot in front of the other. Maybe things would get better.

----------------------------

Luke absentmindedly wiped the already clean counters off a second time. Sighing with defeat, he sat down and allowed himself to think about the one thing he never did: her.

She hadn't seemed herself today. Throughout the past year, he kept on telling himself that it was natural for her, for both of them, to be sad after the demise (the crash and burn?) of a relationship. That's what it was really. Leave it to Luke and Lorelai to not just break up, but to go out in style.

Now, a year later, things were slowly returning to something that resembled normal. She came into the diner regularly, but not daily and she definitely did not stay as long as she used too. They didn't talk much past the usual order taking and he only halfheartedly fought with her on her coffee consumption because if he didn't, they would only be the guy who serves coffee and the girl who drinks it. They would be cut off from each other completely. He smirked as he realized the only real link he and Lorelai had left was coffee. With a decisive nod he stood up and walked upstairs. He would change this. The two of them were friends for a long time before they had gotten involved with each other. Granted, during those 8 years Luke harbored a secret, unrequited love for her, but he suppressed it before, if he had too, he would do it again. Yes he missed her. He missed a lot of things about her. He missed everything about her. But he could deal with it, it would just take time.

----------------------------

Lorelai looked at the spread in front of her. She had really outdone herself this time. She was eyeing the box of sweet and sour chicken that seemed a little too close to the edge of the table when the doorbell rang. She looked at the clock, noting that it was 8:15. "Right on time" she whispered as she went to open the door for him.

"So what movie did you bring?"

"Nice to see you too Lorelai. And movie? As in singular? Do you think I'm crazy enough to bring just one movie?"

"Not anymore at least." She said as he rolled his eyes.

"One time Lore. One time. Will the mocking never end?"

"You should know the answer to that one. And it wasn't just the fact that you brought over only one movie. It was that combined with the fact that the movie you brought over was so bad, that I would watch "Snakes on a Plane" again before watching the movie you brought. Well, I'm not sure about that. I'd watch it before "Cool as Ice", maybe "Snakes on a Plane." Do you remember how bad "Snakes on a Plane" was?"

"What's wrong with "Final Destination 3"?"

"What's wrong with "Final Destination 3"? I mean, why even bother calling it Final Destination 3? At that point just call it "Now you're really, really, really dead! And you didn't even bring over the first two so we could watch those first!"

"It's a horror movie!"

"Yes, but it doesn't make any sense!"

"It's not supposed to make sense Lore. Now we can put in the first movie please?"

"You never told me what the movie actually was."

"The Wedding Singer.

"And just out of sheer morbid curiosity, what was the other movie you brought?"

"Labyrinth."

"Wait, Billy Idol _and _David Bowie? You do love me!"

"I'll get the drinks." Chris said with a smile, returning with some beers and two plates.

"Thanks Chris." She said, settling down into the sofa, putting the movie in and pushing play. When she saw the FBI warning she felt a pang of sadness as she thought about Luke.

"You've seen this, right?" Lorelai looked at him like he was crazy. "Right. Billy Idol. Duh."

The phone rang as Billy was just appearing on screen. Rolling her eyes, Lorelai paused the movie and got up to look for the phone.

"I thought we didn't pause. It ruins the flow of the movie?"

"Chris, it's Rory calling. And besides, it's Billy Idol. We always wait for Billy."

"Answer the phone Lore." He said, settling in to the couch. It would be a while before she was off the phone again.

"Hey kid, what's up?

"She's alive!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do you know how long it's been since I've been able to get you on the phone? A week. A week of messages and phone calls. Lately I have a better relationship with your answering machine than with you! We haven't not talked this much and not been fighting since the infamous week from hell in 2006. Remember that?"

"How could I forget kid?"

"Right. And do you remember how it ended?"

"How could I forget? My mother, going completely postal in the mall?"

"That was around the time we finally got the horses."

"Don't remind me."

"Oh c'mon hon, that was a long time ago!"

"Mom, the horse died. While I was riding it! I think I have a perfectly valid reason for not liking horses."

"Whatever you say. So did you call just because you missed the sound of my voice or is something up?"

"October 13th."

"October 13th. Hmmm because that tells me so much…'

"Saturday, October 13th. At the Dragonfly Inn. There will be cake and pretty pretty dresses."

"You set a date!"

"Yes!"

"Awesome babe. I am SO happy that this is happening for you. Do Limo Boy and his parents know it won't be at some country club or the Plaza or something?"

"His parents are not too thrilled about it being in Stars Hollow, but Logan told them too bad."

"Go Limo Boy!"

"See, I knew you had a soft spot for him."

"Yeah, once I realized that he wasn't out to corrupt my baby girl, everything was ok."

"Yeah, sure. And how long did it take you to get there?"

"As soon as that ring hit your finger babe."

"That's what I thought. I gotta run. Love you mom."

"Love you too babe."

Lorelai tossed the phone onto the table and fell onto the couch with a happy sigh.

"I'm guessing they finally set a date?"

"Chris, our kid is getting married. Next October."

"So that's only 11 months away. At least we know we didn't screw her up too badly."

"Apparently not, and it's to Limo Boy. Who would have thought that he'd come to his senses and move back here?"

"I'm glad he did. It's amazing that his family didn't disown him though. Don't get me wrong I'm glad they didn't. But this is the Huntzbergers."

"But they only have Logan. No other sons."

"Huh. Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Yeah, I am right." Chris said.

"For the first time in a long time." Lorelai said with a smirk and she hit "play" on the remote. This was nice. It was comfortable. It felt like being with an old friend again.

"Hey Lore?"

Sighing, she paused the movie. "Yes Chris?"

"What if we got married?"

----------------------------

**ARRRR I know I'm horrible! But don't we all just LOVE to review?**


	2. I Thought I Lost You Somewhere

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls. If I did, I wouldn't even have to write this story... :o)

**A/N:** To everyone who reviewed: Thank you. For all your comments, they mean the world to me. Yes, Lorelai and Chris are together but this story is a JavaJunkie. I promised you guys that, and would I lie? I don't think so. It just didn't feel right changing the show. I mean, I hate hate hate Chris and Lorelai together, but instead of making my own little world (no worries, I might do that with another fic) I worked from what was given me. So like the singing bass in Luke's apartment says, "Don't worry, be happy!" And yes, I hate Chris for Lorelai, I can't say that enough. And as for Rory getting married before her mother, I'm not promising anything, but I never said that it was anywhere near the wedding date. A lot can happen in 11 months. Well, that sounded ominous.

**I Thought I Lost You Somewhere But You Were Never Really Ever There At All**

"_Hey Lore?"_

_Sighing, she paused the movie. "Yes Chris?"_

"_What if we were to get married?"_

"What?"

"Marry me Lore."

"No." Even Lorelai couldn't believe she had just blurted out her answer like that.

"What?"

"I'm sorry that was blunt. Not out of character, but blunt. Please Chris. I was just engaged to someone else a year ago. Please Chris, give me more time? Give us more time before we get engaged." she pleaded.

"To do what? For you to finally give up on Luke? For you to figure out how to run away from this relationship, just like all your others? What do you want from me Lorelai?"

"I need time Chris. I've been engaged twice before, and-"

"And walked out on both guys." Chris spat, not even looking at her.

"Because it wasn't right. And before I get engaged for a third time, before I have to tell my parents that for a third time I am engaged, I want to make sure it's right!"

"You know your parents would be thrilled because we're right Lore! We've always been right for each other. Why do you think we always end up coming back to each other when our relationships fail?" He took a breath and looked at Lorelai's for once silent figure.

"Because it's convenient." She said absently, staring at something in the corner.

"Lorelai."

She snapped back to attention. "Chris, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Now, I know you're not going to believe this, but I think we should just turn off the movie and go to bed."

"I know that I told you that I would wait for you until we were 80, and I still mean that. I'll give you whatever you need, for however long you need it."

"I just need to get some sleep."

Chris nodded his assent and shut off the television. They were silent as the climbed the stairs then got ready for bed.

"We're okay, right?" Chris asked as they got into bed.

"Yeah, of course." She said quietly, giving him a quick kiss before turning over and shutting off her light. He put his arm around her and they stayed like that for a few minutes when Lorelai rolled over turning her back to him. It was the first night they had spent apart since they started sharing her bed.

----------------------------

Lorelai slowly woke up and felt someone's arms around her. She smiled when she realized that Luke had had Caesar open the diner so he could stay with her.

As she turned over to kiss him good morning, it hit her. Not Luke. Christopher. Not Luke. Sitting up, she processed this information and was trying to figure out why it felt like she had gotten hit by a truck when she felt Chris waking up beside her.

"Morning Lore."

"Yeah, I have to meet with Sookie this morning, so I'm just going to go." She said rapidly, getting out of bed and almost running into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Gripping the sink, she replayed the previous night's events in her head, over and over again.

_Chris wants to marry me._

"Is everything ok?"

"Yeah."

_No_

"Lore, what's up?"

"Nothing Chris"

_Everything_

"You sure?" Chris asked, mumbling into his pillow.

"Yeah" _Of course not. Oh and Luke would have noticed that something was wrong too. But he wouldn't have given up asking until I told him._ "I just didn't sleep very well last night. My back is sore this morning. Silly Lorelai. I should know better than to do any sort of activity, strenuous or not, during the course of my day." She trailed off at the end of her mini-rant, noticing that Chris had fallen back asleep.

Sighing, she finished getting ready for the long day ahead of her.

----------------------------

"Hey Sookie." Lorelai said as she walked into the kitchen.

"Lorelai! Try this!" Sookie said, pushing a spoonful of chocolate amaretto mousse into Lorelai's mouth.

"That's amazing! Please please please tell me we're serving this today?"

"Of course we are."

"As long as you don't hide your genius from the masses."

"I wouldn't dream of such a thing. Now if only I could get Jackson to bring me the peaches that I asked for. I just wish he would let me decide what fruit I wanted instead of 'trying to save me the trouble.' Want some coffee?"

"No, that's ok Sookie." As soon as the words left her mouth, Lorelai knew she had blown her cover.

"Lorelai what's wrong. Tell me, tell me now."

"Sookie, everything's fine!" Lorelai insisted as she tried to get her friend to stop hyperventilating.

"You turned down coffee! You never turn down coffee!"

"Chris asked me to marry him last night." Lorelai said quietly, hoping Sookie would get the hint that for once in her life, there was a topic that she actually did not want to discuss.

"WHAT!? When? How? Why? What did you say?" Sookie shrieked, looking like she had just downed 5 shots of espresso in rapid succession.

"Rory called during out date last night, told us that they had finally set a date for the wedding."

"That's awesome! I'm going to bake the cake, right?"

"Of course. So anyway, I got off the phone with her, and we chatted about her growing up and Logan's family, and all of a sudden, completely out of the blue, he was all "well what if we got married."

"No!"

"Yes. Totally all casual, like it was no big deal. That totally freaked me out first of all, which is why I think I reacted the way I did."

"And what way would that be?"

"I said no."

"And?"

"And what?"

'What else did you say?"

"That's it. I just said no. You should have seen the look on his face. But I think he gets why now, I tried to explain why I said no. I just don't want to have another failed engagement. Another failed relationship. I want to make sure it's right before committing to something so huge. As I was explaining this, he made some comment about me walking out on the other engagements, like it was completely my fault that my other relationships didn't work out."

"You're joking."

"Would I? Then he asked me that if we weren't really meant to be with each other, why we always ended up coming back to each other when our other relationships fail."

"Because it's convenient." Sookie said quickly and paled as soon as the words left her mouth. "Oh Lorelai, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I am so horr-"

"That was my answer too."

"What?"

"Yeah. I said it was because it was convenient.

"So what did he say?"

"Nothing really. I apologized and said that we should go to bed. Then he sad that he would wait for me forever, no matter how much time I needed."

"And then what?"

"Then we went to bed, didn't talk about it anymore."

"Wow."

"I need coffee. In an I.V. Or you could just give me the grounds and I can snort them. Whichever was gets the caffeine in me fastest."

"So what are you going to do next?"

"I think there is a lot of thinking to be done. Do me a favor and keep Michel away from my office today?"

"He actually called in sick today. Well, called his dogs in sick. Couldn't find a sitter and said that he needed to be there just in case Pau-Pau or Chin-Chin or whichever one it was got worse."

"You see, normally I would be upset, but this just means a less-stressful day for the both of us."

Sookie nodded as she turned her attention to the mousse she was making. Lorelai decided to let the culinary genius do her thing but was reminded of something she needed to ask of her best friend.

"Oh Sookie, one more thing?"

"Of course!" she said, almost knocking over the pot as she turned around to face Lorelai.

"Don't tell anyone about what happened?"

"Just call me Belinda!" she said with a grin. Lorelai flashed an appreciative smile. As Lorelai made her way to her office to get her day started, Sookie made her way to the phone. She hesitated before dialing but decided to go through with it anyway.

"Hello, Patty? This is Sookie. I need you to do me a favor."

----------------------------

"Patty! There you are! I've been waiting forever for you!" Babbette said as her friend walked into the diner.

"Well have I got some news for you!" Miss Patty said making sure Luke was in earshot first. This had to be done delicately because Sookie didn't want Lorelai to know that it was her who had leaked the information. "Christopher proposed to Lorelai last night!" She noticed that Luke had stopped in mid-order taking at the table next to theirs.

"What? Why?"

"The details are hazy right now; all I know is that she said no."

"Are they still together?"

"Now that I don't know, yet. Luke? Can I get a cherry danish and some tea? Luke?"

"Uh, sure Miss Patty. I'll be right back." Luke rushed into the back room and steadied himself. Pushing away all thoughts of why they had broken up in the first place, he tried to come up with reasons that she would break up with Chris. A thought came to mind but he pushed it down. He didn't want to give himself false hope that she would come to him. He did that every time she broke up with a guy. Max, Alex, Jason. If she was meant to be his, she would be. He wasn't even sure if he was ready to take any other step besides friendship with her. After the last breakup, he just wasn't sure. But he didn't want to hurt over it anymore. Bolstered by his new Zen attitude towards the whole situation, he made Patty's tea and grabbed her 2 danishes.

"Luke, honey, I only asked for one." She said, grinning widely.

"I know Miss Patty." He said as he walked away. The food at Luke's tasted better than it had in a long time that day.

----------------------------

Lorelai sighed as she let herself into the inn. It had been over a month since Chris had proposed, and it had been a long month. They hadn't seen as much of each other as they used to, and time spent together seemed awkward to both of them And today wasn't helping to improve Lorelai's mood about the current state of her love life. Michel had brought Pau-Pau and Chin-Chin again because Chin-Chin was still sick and neither of them could be left alone. They had scared the horses when Desi had figured out that the lock was loose again and the horses broke free and went to their favorite spot on the property: the front hallway of the Inn.

She walked into the kitchen.

"God, you look like death warmed over. What's wrong with you?" The lovely, bitter French accent floated hung in the air.

"Hi Michel." She forced out, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"You are particularly unpleasant today. No, come to think of it, you've been unpleasant since you broke up with your diner man. Can't get a decent cup of coffee anymore?"

"I'm fine Michel." She said walking out the door, trying to ignore the phrase that was now repeating itself over and over again in her head: "_Come to think of it, you've been unpleasant since you broke up with your diner man."_

----------------------------

Later that week, Luke looked up as he heard the door open.

"Coffee?" She said as her cell phone started ringing.

"Outside!"

"It's cold!"

"It's November, I would hope so!"

"Fine." She said, silencing her phone.

"Never thought I'd see the day." He said pouring her coffee and putting a danish on a plate for her.

"Besides the danish, I'll have a Cheeseburger, no lettuce or tomatos, chili fries, a coke, and another cup of coffee?"

"You never stop, do you?"

"What, eating? I try not to." She said with a grin as he walked away to start her order. This felt right. Maybe Luke and she could be something again. That was up to him though. Lately they had been talking more. Gone were the days of mumbling and doing Inn work at his counter. They were openly bantering now. It had been over a year and things were finally progressing back to normal.

"Oh! Luke! Quick! Hurry! News!"

"Yes Lorelai?

"What are you doing October 13th of next year?"

"Lorelai, it's November. That's 11 months. How would I know what I'm doing?"

"Well, you had better be at Rory's wedding!"

"She set a date. It's about time. Logan will be good for her. And she will definitely be good for him. I'm happy for her. Tell her that for me?"

"Of course."

"Luke?" He turned around to see what she wanted now. "We'll be okay, right?" He took in her calm expression and sad eyes before answering.

"Of course."

Luke smiled at her and walked into the back.

----------------------------

After leaving the diner Lorelai went back to the inn to get started on some paperwork. Instead she stared at the phone in her hand. Why did she want to do this? Why did this feel so right?

"Hi, you've reached Christopher Hayden, please leave a message after the beep."

"Hey Chris, how about you come over to my place tonight? Call me back."

She hung up the phone, wondering how she was going to do this, regardless of how much she wanted to.

----------------------------

That night as he was getting ready for bed, Luke sighed as he let his thoughts wander to her again. She was getting back to her old self. Chris was never able to do that for her. He wanted to think that it was him who made her say no to Chris, that she finally realized that they needed to talk about things. But he didn't want to give himself that hope only to be hurt the next time she waltzed in with some guy she met 5 minutes ago. Sighing, he got into bed realizing that it would be a long next few months. But first he needed to decide what he wanted.

Luke woke up at midnight. Groaning he thought of the delivery scheduled for 5:30. Then he heard what woke him up in the first place. Someone was tapping on his door. Groggily he pulled down his shirt, staggered towards the door and pulled it open.

"Lorelai."

----------------------------

**See that blue drop down box? You know you want to review. Pretty Please? With a Hug-a-Canada on top?**


	3. Quando, Quando, Quando

Disclaimer: I don't own the freaking show. Wish I did though.

**A/N.** See, this is what happens when you people trust me. :o) Many thanks to those who reviewed, especially to one reviewer named Chloe whose hilarious Uzbekistan reference I didn't get until about 3 days after her review was posted. Anyone else up for a game of "Stump the Author?" C'mon people. It's like driving Paris crazy…it's not that hard. ;)

Oh yeah and sorry for taking so long with this, I promise it wont happen again.

**Quando, Quando, Quando**

_Luke woke up at midnight. Groaning he thought of the delivery scheduled for 5:30. Then he heard what woke him up in the first place. Someone was tapping on his door. Groggily he pulled down his shirt, staggered towards the door and pulled it open._

_"Lorelai."_

Luke stared at the vision before him. She was beautiful. It was midnight and she was wearing pajamas and a coat, she wasn't even wearing shoes, just socks. But she was beautiful. They stared at each other for a moment before he moved aside to let her in. Walking in, she sighed as she began to speak.

"Luke, I can't do this anymore. It just doesn't feel the same without you. It's not the whole picture without you. I know we have a lot to talk about and I don't even want an answer from you tonight. I just know that I want you. I love you! I love you Luke, and I miss you. I miss waking up in your arms, I miss your impatience with my inane pop culture references, and I miss you switching the damn coffee to decaf. I don't care about any of that; I don't care about the coffee. I just want you back in my life Luke. I want to give 'us' another chance. Lately it seems like we're moving towards something, and whatever it is, it feels good. I know I messed up badly and I'm sorry. I know that my saying that will never be enough and I fully get it if you want to slam the door in my face right now."

Lorelai finished her rant and looked him in the eyes.

Luke was taken aback by the sincerity he saw in them. Even though Lorelai was the strongest woman he knew, the difficulties of this past year had been mirrored in her inability to make eye contact with him.

"Lorelai, I know we have to talk before we try anything again. But now is not the time for it." He noticed her face fall slightly as she misunderstood him and tried to regain her composure. He gave himself a quick mental beating for what he said and he hastily tried to fix it.

"Maybe we'll talk when its daylight," he said with a tired smile. "But for now, we need sleep." Nodded her consent with a grateful smile she turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" He grunted. She looked at him confused. He motioned for her to come in and closed the door after her.

"Are you sure?" she asked, but her question was answered with a look from Luke. The look she knew so well that meant she had better not ask any more questions that had fairly obvious answers. She took off her coat and as she crawled in next to him, she realized that she was nervous. She had no Wonder Woman persona now; she just didn't know what to do. As she curled up on her usual side, Luke answered the question running through her mind. She felt him roll over and smiled with relief as he put his arm around her stomach and pulled her to him.

Before she finally fell asleep she remembered how real and right falling asleep in Luke's arms felt. All her insecurities and doubts were gone. She could just be herself.

Luke didn't hesitate to put his arm around her so they could sleep in the position they were used to when they were a couple. They both knew that they were nowhere near ready to be engaged again. If they got back together they would have to start slow. A lot of things would have to be different. But it could work.

Outside, as Luke and Lorelai tried to sleep, it started snowing.

----------------------------

Lorelai smelled coffee as she woke up the next morning.

"Luke?" she called as she noticed the large empty space in the bed next to her.

"Right here." She could hear the smile in his voice as her set a mug of coffee on the table next to her. He sat down on the bed next to her, sipping his tea.

"Luke, we should talk about this."

"Yeah, you're right." He said sighing, crawling down into bed next to her.

"How did we mess it up so badly Luke? How did be become the Brad and Jen of Stars Hollow? Everyone is still divided on this."

"Not everyone. Only Taylor still has his ribbon up."

"I cannot believe he brought those out again. But Taylor is Taylor. Fortunately, contrary to his beliefs he does not represent what the town thinks."

"Well what do you think?"

"I think that we're right for each other and we both know that. But I think that we hide things."

"Hide things."

"Yes, things. Feelings, late night tequila visits, children, frustrations. Should I go on?"

"Children. So this is on me?"

"Not all of it Luke, but you didn't tell me for months. I found out because she introduced herself as the "girl whose dad the diner owner didn't want her talking to strangers."

"I am sorry that you found out like that."

"You should have told me Luke! We were engaged. When you're married there are no more secrets, no more hiding things. Especially not children!"

"Oh and what about you? You ran to Christopher when our relationship hit a block that you couldn't demand or talk your way out of!"

"Our relationship hit a block the day you hid the fact that you had a daughter from me. It hit a block the day I became Clarence Thomas and kept my damn mouth shut. The day we stopped talking is the day our relationship went to hell."  
"What about the day you didn't tell me about going to Christopher's when his dad died? Or the day you ran off and slept with him because I couldn't drop everything and run off with you?"

"You want to know why it's always Chris I go back to?" Lorelai shot back, noticing the look in Luke's eyes any time either of them mentioned Rory's dad.

"Yeah, I do." Luke whispered.

"Because he never turned me away. He was always there, ready for me. That's why I went to him that night. I went to him when his father died because I knew he needed a friend. But that night after you turned me down, I went to him because he wouldn't. He wouldn't turn me down like my ex-fiancé would. Luke, when you said you wouldn't elope with me, all I heard was 'I don't want to marry you, I've changed my mind.' That's what happened, Luke. I didn't go to him because I loved him. I haven't loved him since I was 16. I went to him because you turned me down. We were engaged. I proposed to you and you said yes. And that night on the street, when I told you that I loved you, and you said no to marrying me, I felt something inside of me break. That's when I left you standing there and went to Chris."

"Why would you think that I didn't want to marry you?"

"Because you said no! Because you postponed our wedding indefinitely! Because Anna said engagements don't last, like she knew something I didn't. because you didn't tell me about April."

"April."

"Yes Luke, you hid the fact that you had a daughter from me, and then made every attempt to keep her away from me. I thought that was a pretty big sign that you didn't want to marry me anymore!"

"I wanted to do it on my own Lorelai. To prove that I could do it, that I could be a parent. You were, _are_, this fantastic mom who has this great close relationship with her daughter. I wanted to be that dad to April, but I wanted to figure out how by myself."

"You could have told me Luke! I would have respected your wishes; you didn't have to hide her from me!"

"I was doing what I thought was best."

"Best for her and you or best for us?"

"Maybe both," he sighed in resignation.

"What? You think us breaking up was for the best?" She said, rising slightly.

"That's not what I meant Lorelai. I thought it would be best for April and I if we started slow. I was scared. I mean, April is never nervous or unsure, but I was nervous. Hell, I was terrified. I wanted her to like me and I wanted to be a dad to her, and I wanted the same type of relationship with her that you have with Rory."

"Okay, I can understand that," her voice softening. "But what did you mean about it being best for us Luke?"

"I was scared in both cases. Scared that you would think I had lied to you and had known about her all along. Scared that even though you might believe me, that you would have wanted no part in raising a kid that I didn't even know I had, a kid that you didn't know about before getting involved with me."

"Luke, I wouldn't have doubted you."

"Scared that you would think I was a bad father. And that you would decide not to marry me because you didn't want your kids growing up with me as their dad." Luke finished quietly, forcing himself to look into his ex-fiancé's eyes. Lorelai stared back as Luke reached up and brushed away the tear that had started to trail down her face. Lorelai reached up and took his hand. She stared into his eyes, trying to find some sign, some remnant of the past they shared.

"Luke?" she whispered, finally breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"I would never think you were a bad father. Yes, Chris is technically Rory's father, but the only thing keeping the two of them together for the longest time was blood. Yes, they're getting closer now, but you were more of a father to her than he ever was. I saw how you were with her. You were great with her. You still are. You came to her caterpillar's funeral. You baked her coffee cake on her birthday. You brought the ice that day. Luke, that's what you do. What you think of as little gestures are these low-key deals that actually mean a lot to the people who you do them for. You saved the horoscope Luke. And for a while there, you stopped switching my coffee to decaf. Now that really meant a lot to me."

"Those things aren't big deals."

"That's what I mean. You don't think those things you do mean all that much, but the people you do them for see them for what they really mean."

Luke grunted and looked away, fidgeting with the bed spread.

"Now I have just one request before we talk a whole lot more."

"And what would that be."

"Nourishment?"

Lorelai smiled faintly as she watched Luke walk down the stairs to grab some food for lunch. Sighing, she laid back down and sank into the pillows to drift off into her own thoughts as Luke prepared the food. She was exhausted and was sure that Luke was too.

----------------------------

She woke up to the faint smell of hamburgers and an arm around her waist. Opening her eyes, she saw that the food was ready and waiting but there was a sleeping Luke next to her. Not wanting to wake him up, she decided to succumb to her own drowsiness and close her eyes again.

----------------------------

**Ok my lovelies. Now, I would say "no more updates until 5 more reviews," but we all know how well ultimatums go over in the land of Gilmore. Ok, that was a bad joke. But seriously, I would love it if you guys reviewed and let me know what you think so far. Now if I could only find my Santa burger because we have like 12 freaking days left, and then it's Christmas. Dang.**


	4. Feels Like the First Time

Disclaimer:I don't own them.

**A/N**: Ok, guys? There are no words. Your reviews? Let me just say that you guys rock. I can just picture it. Dave Rosenthal comes across this story on the net, goes "aha!" and I become famous. I like the sound of that. Meanwhile, back at the ranch… I'm glad some of y'all decided to trust me and keep reading after the first chapter. And I guarantee that Chris is out, especially because this is where I'm ending it. If I decide to go forward, which I probably will, it'll be in a different story because this one was only meant to be getting these two crazy kids back together. I feel that this story has run its course. They're back together, Rory and Logan have set a date, Chris is nowhere to be found, and all is right in the world. Thank you guys.

**Feels Like the First Time**

_She woke up to the faint smell of hamburgers and an arm around her waist. Opening her eyes, she saw that the food was ready and waiting but there was a sleeping Luke next to her. Not wanting to wake him up, she decided to succumb to her own drowsiness and close her eyes again._

Lorelai opened her eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the light streaming through the window. Glancing at the clock as she turned over she was amazed to see that it was just past 5:00 p.m.

"Luke?" she whispered, brushing her hand against his cheek. She smiled at the familiar roughness as he opened his eyes.

"Lorelai, what time is it?"

"A little past 5."

"I haven't slept this much in a long time." Lorelai nodded in agreement as her stomach let out a loud growl.

"I haven't waited this long to eat since-"

"Never?"

"Very true. Why didn't you wake me up so we could eat?"

"Are you kidding? Wake you up? You were completely out. So anything in particular you want to do for dinner?"

"Chinese." Lorelai stretched lazily as Luke got up and called China Charlie's, ordering for both of them. He probably even still had their old menu with all her notes on it.

"It'll be half an hour before they get here." He said, putting down the tattered menu.

"So, can I ask you something?" he said as he walked over to the bed and sat down next to her.

"Of course."

"Why did you say no to Christopher when he asked you to marry him?"

"Oh! Ok, that's why you asked if you could ask me." Luke nodded his response as Lorelai looked down and stared at the blanket. "So you really want to know?"

"Yeah." He said with a sigh.

"Because he wasn't you Luke. When Chris and I started dating, all I could think about was how it didn't feel right with him. How sleeping next to him did feel right. Movies nights with him didn't feel right. You're the only one that's ever felt right." Lorelai finished, waiting for Luke to say something. "Luke?"

"Lorelai, I'm sorry."

"Um, ok."

"OK, that wasn't the best way for me to just blurt that out, but I'm sorry. I should have told you about April. Sooner than I did. And you shouldn't have had to find out that way, her telling you I was her father and all."

"Luke, I-"

"No, please. Just let me talk?"

Lorelai sat there, staring at her hands, waiting for Luke to start again.

"It messed you and I up. We were never good at the communication thing in the first place. And my not telling you about her for two months, essentially hiding this from you-"

"Huh, essentially?"

"Ok, definitely hiding it from you. I shouldn't have." Luke said. Lorelai wrapped her arms around him and pulled him down next to her. She put her face into his neck, breathing in the scent of his flannel.

"Lorelai?"

"I just, I felt so pushed away, like you didn't want me to be a part of your life at all anymore, but since you didn't know how to tell me, you were just going to let me figure it out for myself." Lorelai said softly, her face still pressed into his shirt. She took a deep breath and continued. "It reminded me of the time you were with Nicole. You moved and didn't tell me about it until weeks later. But this time, we weren't just friends; we were supposed to get married. And I just felt that I couldn't talk to you."

"Lorelai, I'm so sorry." He whispered into her hair. He felt her body shake as she started to cry and he pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her so the warmth could help calm her.

They sat there for a while, holding on to each other, breathing slowly. Lorelai spoke first.

"Luke," she said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"When did they say the food would get here?" Luke chucked and let go of her.

"Luke, I'm going to run home and grab some clothes."

"Ok, I'll meet you back here."

----------------------------

After dinner they sat there for a few minutes, staring at their empty plates.

"So now what?" Lorelai said, getting up to put her plate in the sink.

Luke sighed. "I'm honestly not sure. Maybe-"

"You're not sure? What are we doing here Luke?"

"I was going to say we could rent a few movies."

"Oh," Lorelai blushed at her outburst. "Maybe we could go to Doose's and get some snacks?"

"You mean speed up the arterial clogging?"

"Arterial clogging?"

"Yes, arterial clogging."

"Is arterial even a word?"

"Of course it is. Arterial: pertaining to the arteries."

"Oh my god this conversation has taken a bad turn. We need to stop talking about arteries."

"Sorry. So movies?"

"Sure."

They got up and started to walk towards the door, halfway down Lorelai stopped suddenly, Luke running into her.

"Ow!"

"Sorry, your break lights were out."

"What?"

"Sorry, I've heard you say it before, sounded funny. Guess it didn't work as well as I thought it would."

"Nah, it worked fine."

"Ok, now that we got that out of the way, why did you stop?"

"People are down there Luke."

"OK…"

"So what will they think? What do we want them to think? I don't even know what we think!"

Luke sighed and leaned against the wall. "Where we are."

"Yes, where we are. And don't say in the stairwell."

"Well I'd like us to be us again."

"What phase of us? Us had many phases. There was the pining phase, the confused phase, and that was all before we started dating. Dating takes us into the courting stage, the dating stage, the-"

"Maybe we could be at the beginning. Well, not the very beginning beginning, but, you know."

"Yeah. Not "you in Maine for 6 weeks" beginning, but not engaged again yet."

"That sounds good."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"So, we're back."

"Yeah" he said, putting his arms around her waist, kissing her softly.

"I missed this." She whispered, smiling at the knowledge that he still hadn't let her go.

"So, let's face the crowd."

"By crowd you mean Miss Patty."

"Of course."

"Ok." Grabbing her hand, Luke led her through the diner, aware of the eyes glued to them.

----------------------------

"This movie always makes me sad." Luke said, grabbing a red vine as they watched the credits roll by.

"Ok first of all, you just took a red vine. Really?"

"Eh, they're not all bad."

"Still weird though."

"Want to hear something even weirder?"

"Always."

"I started drinking coffee."

"What?"

"I started drinking coffee."

"Ok I heard you. It was supposed to be more like 'What? _You_ started drinking coffee?"

"Yeah. I'm not coffee addicted like you and Rory, and it's more like half milk, half coffee, but still."

"But still indeed. Why?"

"It reminded me of you."

Lorelai smiled and took his hand.

"Ok, so second of all, why does 'Labyrinth' make you sad? How can David Bowie make you sad?"

"He's in love with her, right?"

"No."

"That's what the movie says, that what she says. 'The King of the Goblins was in love with her, and he had given her certain powers, blah blah blah."

"Oh that."

"And the way he looks at her during the stairway scene. He looks so hurt that she's trying to escape and get away. It's like he says, he does everything for her. And of course it's impossible for them to be together, it kind of makes me sad."

"Ok Luke, wow."

"Wow what?"

"Ok, I shouldn't be so astonished. The first time I saw this movie I thought the same thing."

"But it's not the first time I've seen this," Luke said. "I've watched this many times, with you."

"And you know why."

"Yes. Dance magic dance. I hate that scene."

"I love that part!"

"Ok, so you said the first time you saw this you thought the same thing too. What do you think now?"

"Well, she's like what, 14 or 15 in this movie? Yes, she says that Jareth is in love with her, but it's in the way she views love. She just wants attention from this fantastic older man. It's not love like we lo-, I mean, like adult love, not romantic at all." Lorelai finished, avoiding looking Luke directly in the eye. She hoped he didn't catch her slip, she wasn't sure if he felt like that about her again.

"So I get that they're not 'in love', but why does he look at her like that?"

"He loves her in the way that he wants her to grow up."

"So they can hook up."

"No!" Lorelai exclaimed, smacking his arm. "She's very immature in the beginning. She's whiney and dramatic and dresses in costume and names her bears."

"Right."

"She's at that age, where she needs to decide to either stay immature or put away her toys and focus on reality and the important things in life."

"The junk lady scene."

"Right! She needs to put away childish things and become a woman."

"So that's what Jareth does?"

"He loves her in a more 'I want to help you grow up' kind of way."

"Makes no sense at all."

"Didn't think it would. But I tried."

"No more Labyrinth talk."

"Can we talk about David Bowie?"

"Ugh."

"Ugh? You say 'ugh' to David Bowie?"

"I say 'ugh' to David Bowie."

"Blasphemy."

"Indeed." Luke said, taking a sip of his beer.

"So where do we go from here?"

"Well, we've watched three movies."

"Three?"

"Rattle and Hum, That Thing You Do, and Labyrinth."

"All great movies and the good news is that I've gotten my Labyrinth fix so you won't have to watch it for at least another six months."

"So we've watched three movies, ate about 20 pounds of Chinese food, red vines, marshmallows and beer."

"But not together."

"Right, because that would be disgusting."

"Just disgusting enough to work?"

"Nope, just disgusting."

"Well, I was thinking that maybe we should go to bed."

"Sounds like a good plan," Lorelai said, getting up. "But, I don't have anything to sleep in and I didn't bring my pajamas back here with me."

"Well, if you want, you can wear one of my shirts."

"Blue flannel?" Luke nodded.

"Sold!" Lorelai smiled happily.

They changed silently and climbed into bed, Lorelai feeling none of the nervousness she had felt the night before.

"Lorelai?" Luke said, putting his arms around her and turning to face her.

"Yeah?"

"I love you Lorelai," he said pressing his forehead against hers. He watched as she smiled with relief.

"I love you too Luke." She said quietly, feeling her throat close up. As the tear fell down her cheek, he reached up and brushed it away. They stayed there, staring at each other.

Lorelai started laughing quietly, a smile forming on her face.

"What?"

"Chris proposed."

"What?"

"When we were sill together. He proposed."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I was just thinking about how glad I am that I didn't say yes. That I went with my gut instead of taking the easy way out. Saying yes would have been a way for me to really ignore how much I missed you."

"Oh. Well, I'm extremely glad you said no."

"Just think, how stupid would I have had to be to marry Chris?"

"Very. About as stupid as eloping on a cruise ship." They both chuckled and pulled each other closer.

"Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Luke smiled and kissed her. "I love you too."

"We'll talk more tomorrow?"

"We'll talk more tomorrow."

Lorelai smiled as Luke sighed and pulled her closer. She closed her eyes, relaxed in his arms and slept.

----------------------------

**Ok my pretties that's it. Review your brains out if you wish, I don't mind at all. I'm happy with the way that I ended this and if I continue it, it will be a different story. Thank you all for reading it and sticking with me through the first chapter that was chock-full of the horror that is Christopher and Lorelai together. And oh yeah! The songs I used for chapter titles:**

**1. Bad Day - Daniel Powter  
2. Here is Gone - the Goo Goo Dolls (woohoo!)  
3. Quando, Quando, Quando - many many people have covered it, my current favorite version is Michael Buble. Yay for Michael Buble!  
4. Feels Like the First Time - Foreigner**

**Even though I finished this one, I am working on something else. :o)**


End file.
